Yawn.
Weak sauce.
Uhhhh...huh?
YEAH!!!
Yes folks, the rumors are true. Last night, after an unexpected last minute call, NVE made his NKBA debut after a 61 day holdout. In a pregame press conference, NVE stated: "I am disappointed to fall a mere 736 days short of BSR's record of longest stint on the inactive list. However, I have used this time wisely to pursue my dreams of becoming a professional FIFA gamer. But I conquered that mountain the moment we opened that can of whoop-ass on Spain. So I figure it's about time I start playing ball again. But one thing...I play, Coach stays. Coach goes, I go." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tb4g4psb38
A buzz filled the arena as NVE took the court...or was that just the air conditioning? Nobody knew what to expect...least of all NVE himself. The court was a veteran-laden group (mostly 40+ crowd), with an international flavor (94.3% Asian), and brimming with a cerebral grasp of the game (6 feet and under, and nobody can jump > 6 inches). The games? Gloriously devoid of any semblance of Ricky Eff. NVE was immediately matched up with the other "young guy", coincidentally one of two token non-Asians (the other being the gentlemen of unidentifiable ethnicity...possibly Persian...who was fond of burping loudly everytime he entered the lane, leaving a lingering cloud of noxious fumes from a half-digested dinner, also of unidentifiable ethnicity). He also played in jean shorts, which boggles the mind. Seriously, get a pair of basketball shorts for $7.99 at Target, your crotch will thank you. In spite of that, he wasn't a bad player (think: Nigel Gupta)...but I digress.
As the game tipped off, NVE made an immediate impact by shooting the gap and coming up with a steal 10 seconds into the game. One could surmise what was going through his mind, probably something along the lines of "Muahahahahhahaha, I am better than you fools! I am faster than you sloths! I am.." Which was promptly followed by NVE blowing the wide-open breakway layup, kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PRxw16zsfM Ahhhhh...so nothing has changed.
NVE wiped off the rust to play a decent game, finishing the game with 4 points (on 2-6 shooting), 3 assists, and FOUR steals. Unfortunately, at 16-16 (NKBA rules: playing to 18 with 2s and 3s...18?!?!), NVE ignored the pleas of his teammates to not force it, and tried to zip a pass into the lane, which was tipped away and led to the game-winning bucket at the other end.
Undeterred, NVE took the court for the 3rd game of the night, and looked for inspiration: http://www.football-wallpapers.com/wallpapers3/pato_1_1280x1024.jpg
His team promptly surged to a 14-12 lead on the strength of a scintillating performance by NVE (5-7 shooting, 2 dimes). On game point (now playing to 15...don't ask), NVE split two defenders at the top of the key and soared in for the game-winning finger roll...and promptly fell out of the sky like he'd been shot by a sniper. Yes, the cramps did in NVE and that was the end of the night.
All in all, a rather ignominious ending to a halfway decent return to the hardwood for NVE.
Stay tuned for future episodes of NVE and the NKBA!
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