KBA Media Week

The basketball world will turns its eyes to the John Martin Arena this Tuesday as FC VH attempts to capture its first KBA championship. On the eve of the KBA Finals, let's take a look at FC VH's improbable run toward their date with destiny!

FC VH entered the KBA playoffs as the #7 seed following a solid, if unspectacular, regular season. BSR finished up a solid campaign with a First Team All-KBA selection and led the league in 3PT for the 13th consecutive year. NVE was honored with another First Team All-KBA Defensive nod and led the league in players injured, personal injury timeouts and mid-season vacations to South America. With their nondescript regular season, FC VH was expected to submit their customary first round flameout; Vegas sports books placed final odds of FC VH advancing to the Finals at 35-1. Another pathetic playoff showing by FC VH certainly seemed inevitable after a lackluster Game 1 loss in the opening series. However, FC VH shockingly rebounded to win their next four contests in surprisingly easy fashion to complete the first round upset. FC VH followed the same blueprint in winning their next series 4-1 against the #3 seed. In a hard-fought series highlighted by a Game 6 comeback down 13-7, FC VH rode stifling crunch-time defense to advance to their first ever KBA Finals.

Relations between NVE and the media have been tense all year along, stemming from rampant rumors that FC VH will try to trade up in the draft to select highly touted PG D'Angelo Russell. Breaking his season-long vow to boycott the media, NVE showed up 47 minutes late to his media session which clocked in at a mere 6 minutes and 13 seconds. Starting his session with "I'm just here so I don't get fined", NVE stared sullenly at his phone and answered every question cryptically: "Vanco, Zosyn and fluconazole is the answer for everything."

BSR, on the other hand, seemed to take the media circus in stride, graciously answering all questions and seemingly stopping his custom-made purple and gold golf cart every 10 feet to sign an autograph for yet another adoring fan. The goodwill tour, however, hit a speed bump on Monday afternoon:

TJ Simers [LA Times]: How does it feel to not be recognized as one of the 5 greatest Iranian athletes of all-time?
BSR: I beg your pardon?
TJ Simers [LA Times]: Haven't you heard? The Minister of Sporting and Cultural Affairs just made the announcement and they'll be directly inducted into the Iranian Hall Of Prestige next fall.
BSR: Give me that press release!

5. ALI KARIMI




4.  ALADDIN




3.  THE IRON SHEIK





2.  HAMED HADDADI





1.  ALI FAROKHMANESH



BSR: [sputtering] Farokhmanesh made ONE SHOT!  And Haddadi is playing in Guangzhou, China! Did you forget about the 92.8 ppg/0.0 apg game?! What about "The Buddy Tape Game"?!?!  Coppin State?!?!?! Gentlemen, y'all are gonna see a show next Tuesday and we'll see who will be going to the IHOP!!!


Update: We've obtained an exclusive overnight video from TMZ of what appears to be BSR disguised as a portly Asian male in khaki shorts conducting a pre-game shootaround. We're still awaiting independent verification from facial recognition software, but if confirmed, it seems we can expect a shooting performance for the ages!!!