Season XVIX: Preseason Finale

One of the defining characteristics of KBA is the schedule, shall we say, irregularity.  KBA veterans have long grown accustomed to the scheduled gym closures every 6-8 weeks (along with the occasional UNscheduled gym lockout), most often pertaining to the following LAUSD reasons:

A) School testing/graduation

B) Gym "repairs"

C) Ummm...no reason?

D) Thanks for the $$$ suckas, now go fuck yourself

and of course, how could we forget the most frequently invoked reason...

E) Floor cleaning

As an aside, let the record show that over the past 11 years, a return to the John Martin KBA Arena after "floor cleaning" has invariably resulted in this:

So the fact that KBA had been on hiatus for the past two weeks (official reason: A; real reason: probably D) gave no reason for anyone to think anything was awry, other than raising the KBA "Beware! Shitty Games Ahead" Alert tonight ever-so-slightly at Defcon 3.  

So it turned out to be just another mundane night at KB....what the?!?!

NEW FLOORS!!!  Gleaming, non-dusty, bona fide actually-stop-when-you-want-without-sliding-3-feet floors!!!  

Based on this development, the KBA "Beware! Shitty Game Ahead" Alert remained unchanged at Defcon 3.  

As action got underway (7:19, post-DC), NVE was joined by Shahe Vujacic, It's Matt, Wah-Qaeda and Otto.  However, in a devious draft day deal just seconds before tipoff, the Andytollah quickly and unilaterally traded RGIII and an expiring contract for Otto.  Therefore, RGIII joined the aforementioned foursome against Ricky F, Otto, It's Pat, Andytollah, and Hairy Harry.  A half-hearted appeal from The Vujacician was quickly and summarily denied by the Andytollah.  In an unrelated note, The Vujacician mysteriously disappeared during halftime of Game #1; he was later found at a local hospital after reportedly accidentally falling down 17 flights of stairs and landing on several misplaced lit cigarettes.  

Despite The Andytollah's efforts, Team NVE sprinted out to a quick lead behind crisp ball movement and the sharp-shooting of the Jedi-Master and RGIII, and never looked back in rolling to a 14-7 victory.      

In Game 2, Coach Ricky F displayed his tactical wizardry, going small and subbing in Switchblade, RG4 and Friend of Ricky F for It's Pat, Andytollah, and Hairy Harry.  What happened next, Coach? 

14-0, bitches.  Highlighted by a hard NVE stuff + recovery of a Ricky F jumpshot.  Punctuated by a Ricky F ball kick against the wall.

Sadly, large-scale team realignment occurred following a Game #3 loss, with NVE joining Ricky F, RGIII, RG4 and Friend of Ricky F in holding the court for the rest of the night and answering the long-debated philosophical question: "When does winning feel like losing?"

Next week: The Return of BSR!!