Season XVI Goes Down Toilet, Joins FC VH Performance

Following an unexpectedly slow start, FC VH rode the momentum of the mid-season Champions League victory to finish 37-20 and claim the #4 seed.  Home court advantage proved to be crucial in the first round, as FC VH scrapped out a 4-2 series win and advanced to the Western Conference Semi-Finals.  

Round 2 saw the FC VH go up against longtime foes It's Pat, It's Matt, Ricky F and the Jedi-Master.  Expectations were high, as FC VH had handled the #1 seed with relative ease in prior matchups in the regular season.  Seconds before tipoff, however, FC VH head coach Pringles shocked the KBA world by starting Unicycle and Andytollah alongside NVE and BSR.  Both teams came out tight, exchanging wild volleys of turnovers and missed shots to start the game.  Ultimately, the personnel disadvantage and numerous missed open shots came back to haunt FC VH in a 13-9 loss.  In Game 2, Wah-Qaeda entered the starting lineup but Coach Pringles again proved to be unpredictable in keeping Andytollah on the floor.  FC VH again turned in a shockingly lackluster performance and dropped a second consecutive game.    

Now down 0-2, FC VH returned home in a must-win Double or Nothing game.  In spite of the desperate straits, FC VH again inexplicably came out flat and fell behind 18-6 at the end of the first quarter.  Faced with the prospect of the season ending in utter embarrassment, FC VH valiantly fought back to tie the game at halftime, then took a narrow lead by the middle of the third quarter.  However, down the stretch, FC VH's season-long weaknesses of defensive rebounding and lack of offensive balance were exposed at the worst possible time.  And despite it all, with just seconds to go at point all, BSR teed up a game-winning shot we've seen hundreds, if not thousands, of times over the past decade.  The KBA world had already scratched off the series-tying W for FC VH, when this happened:

http://youtu.be/m6V1-UraQAs?t=10m9s (skip to 10:09 in video below)

Afterwards, players and reporters alike spoke in whispers, in stunned disbelief that the season had ended in such ignominious fashion.  BSR quickly dressed without speaking to the media and was later seen speeding away in a non-tinted, baby-seated Honda Accord.  NVE sat alone long after the final buzzer, towel draped over his hunched shoulders, inconsolable that he had forgotten to book tickets to Cancun for the following morning.  Unicycle, seemingly in denial that the season was over, remained in the gym shooting airballs long into the night.  

FC VH now faces an offseason certain to be rife with uncertainty and scrutiny.  NVE entered the playoffs riding a two month hot shooting streak - yet when the lights shone brightest, the jumpers fell far too short, far too often.  Even worse, his defensive efforts on Ricky F in the deciding games, and the entire playoffs for that matter, was decidedly uneven.

Fellow KBA veteran BSR enjoyed a standout season both on and off the court, missing only 3 weeks of the season due to injury.  Nevertheless, Father Time remains undefeated in all matchups, and as BSR enters his 12th KBA season (10th season, sans gambling-related hiatus 2007-9), the usual questions regarding senescence and durability must remain.       

Team GM Kitch Mupchak will undoubtedly face criticism for assembling a supporting cast that looked at best, inconsistent, and at worst, completely overwhelmed.  Despite a solid if unspectacular performance in the 2nd round, Unicycle proved to be wildly unreliable on both ends of the floor through most of the season.  Andytollah and RG8 will both go home with hardware, following the first ever tie in KBA Shietsman of The Year voting.   

Some positives will be taken away from Season XVI: winning records against Ricky F and SGJ, victory in the inaugural KBA Champions League, and the continued development of the FC VH playbook

But ultimately...

http://youtu.be/O8GOGAqw-QQ?t=6m2s (skip to 6:02 in video below)

FIFA 13 Bids Farewell

D Fischer scoring one of the closing goals for his FIFA 13 standout team, Ajax, in route to a 2-0 victory that was followed by a Deutch 2-0 win.  FCVH finished yet another dominating season of FIFA, hampered only by EA and its myriad asinine shortcomings.

BSR Holdout: Day 8

We interrupt this regularly scheduled KBA blog with an important note from KBA Party Chairman and High Grandmaster MBG:

"The KBA has the utmost regard for BSR's many years of service to the league. As the all-time league leader in 3-pointers, 3 point %, and days spent on the DL, we recognize his dedication and salute his contributions to the game. However, BSR's wonton disregard of the mandatory KBA "Play Through Pain" contract clause can no longer, and will not, be ignored. I hereby decree BSR to be in contempt of the KBA spirit; ex post facto, BSR is hereby immediately stricken from the KBA blog, and his records summarily attached with an asterisk. When [name redacted] chooses to step up and fulfill her obligation to KBA, we will welcome her back with open arms. I trust that this will serve as a reminder: nobody is bigger than the KBA." 

Life went on at the JM Arena (henceforth known as The 'Stache) as the KBA season reached its mid-season point. On one side, NVE joined forces with Wah-Qaeda, RG5, RG7, and It's Matt. Surely this was a force to be reckoned with, and would go on to form the next great KBA dynasty! Opposing them...

 

RG8?!
SGJ?!?!
Ricky F?!
It's Pat?!?!?
Jedi-Master?!?!

That's right KBA fans, exactly 5* players were present on the day that MBG thrust his iron fist into the labor dispute. Conspiracy theorists immediately suggested that this was a organized show of support for [name redacted], led by long-time running mate NVE. NVE denied any knowledge, shrugging and stating: "I was just planning to write his number on my shoe with a Sharpie." Reporters later noted that NVE's customary black shoes would effectively render any numerical tribute non-existent.

NVE and Wah-Qaeda paired up to take the first 5 games, before RG7 and It's Matt took the next three. Clearly suffering from delusions secondary to lactic acidosis, NVE then suggested the first ever KBA 2-on-2 full-court game. In a game that was best accompanied by a soundtrack of circus music, NVE/RG7 proceeded to defeat Wah-Qaeda/RG5 14-12.

Welcome to our newest feature, the KBA Poll of the Week!

Where in the world will [name redacted] be next week?!?!