The Decision

What happened at KBA Week 3, you ask?




Okay, that's a bit much. Maybe it was more like this:




Not one to be content with a 1-5 night (translation: bitter loser), NVE immediately petitioned Andytollah to have Week 3 declared NULL AND VOID, on the basis of KBA Bylaws and Code of Conduct Section 501.3(b): "No KBA player shall participate in a sanctioned contest using sports equipment that has not been KBA-approved without prior explicit permission from the league commissioner."    

The item in question, as sported by Ricky F the entire night:

Ricky F filed an immediately counter-protest, maintaining that the device was merely a "shoulder compression sleeve". After 48 hours of deliberation and intense media scrutiny, independent arbitrator MBG ruled today: "In a thorough review of game tape, we cannot dispute that there were notable irregularities in gameplay. In particular, Ricky F's abrupt marked improvement in shooting accuracy and dramatic decrease in wild turnovers are without precedence in KBA history. This change coincides with the use of this device, which is not KBA-approved equipment. The preponderance of evidence suggests that this so-called shoulder compression sleeve functions as a performance enhancer." 


And with that, Week 3 is officially a RE-DO.

Sorry BSR, this never happened

The 2013 Comeback At Marshall

Perhaps the most difficult obstacle for a KBA team to overcome is age.  Squeaky joints. Old legs. Achy body parts.

But, no one will remember age when it comes to the Win-Loss column.  No one will care how old or slow you were.

It's all about the W.

This was the very mountain that an aging KBA team (NVE, BSR, It's Pat!, RG1, and S. Vujacic) were trying to climb on 1/15/2013.  Against younger bucks like Rajon Rondo and Taliban, the older KBA team was getting run out of the building, down 12-4 (Game Point: 14).  Surely marking the demise of the aged.

It's times like these when old knees surface:

All was but said and done.  The writing on the wall was as clear as the Earth being round, or the Sun rising in the East, or Lance Armstrong doping his way to wins (for those reading in 2015, this was big shocking news to some of the human species living in 2013). The waiting players were starting to stretch; the water fountain Legionella colony count was rising; and the refrigerator door was nearly closed, until...

...until the game was suddenly 12-8 and while the aged wonders were gaining steam and the nerves of the youngsters were starting to unravel like:

Defensive stop after defensive stop, the gap narrowed and the proverbial fridge cracked ever-so-slightly more open.

With no thanks to:

Or (for our Russian Viewers):

Or:

(For our German Viewer; seriously look at the Blog Stats for this week. So long, Korea!)

Country	Pageviews
United States	28
Russia	18
Germany	1

~ ~ ~  And now, back to our regularly scheduled blog ~ ~ ~

A fierce comeback in a flash tied the game at 12.  Surely the old men were out of gas and would succumb to father time.

But, alas, no!  The moment of truth was capped off by none other than NVE...

And the AARP REJOICED!

Perhaps this wasn't as skilled a shot as:

But, in a comeback that kept a strong FCVH 2013 season alive and a comeback that will live long in the seemingly-too-thick history books of the KBA, NVE gave us one win for the ages: a W.

We solute you, NVE.  

Be sure to check out: http://nickvanexel.weebly.com/

KBA 2K13!!

The final countdown     

Ohhh, it's the final countdown   

The final countdown   

The final countdowndowndowndowndown...

Yes loyal KBA fan(s), the KBA FINALLY returned to action after 28 days!  As the countdown clock hit all zeros, the KBA took the court with the final riffs of Europe fresh in their heads (and in BSR's case, iPhone).

Meanwhile, halfway around the globe in Kazakhstan, spirits were equally high in the season opener for the other KBA:



The energy level of the newly renamed Didier Drogba-Webo Friendship gym was predictably at an all-time peak after the long layoff.  In a highly unusual development, players opted to forgo the customary 27 minute warmup/dentistry conference and tipoff occurred at the record-setting time of 7:16.  Scheduled special guest Mike D'Antoni was a surprising no-show; in a statement later, his publicist apologized: "Mike was under the impression the season started on January 13th against the Cavs."

Playing the role of the 2000-1 Lake Show: NVE, BSR, It's Matt*, The Turbinator*, and Random Asian Guy 3* (aka RG3). Longtime KBA fans will surely remember RG1 and RG2, and their respective unforgettable legacies on the league. 

Playing the role of rotating Cannon Fodder that night: Wah-Qaeda, Shahe Vujacic, It's Pat, Andytollah, and the 3 Crop Circles*.  Why Crop Circles?  Because nobody knows where the fuck they came from.   

*Pending approval by KBA nomenclature committee, The Anti-Defamation League, and Agent Fox Mulder

When the Cannons went small, the Lake Show pounded them inside with It's Matt and BSR working the post and cleaning the glass. When the Cannons packed the paint, The Turbinator, RG3 and BSR bombed them into submission. Up-tempo or down-slow, the Lake Show was one step ahead ALL NIGHT LONG. With the seconds ticking down and both teams running on fumes, vaunted game-manager NVE-TD (Trent Dilfer) provided the final unexpected kick in the groin:





For those of you counting at home:

We're leaving together  

But still it's farewell  

And maybe we'll come back to earth, who can tell?  

I guess there is no one to blame  

We're leaving ground  

Will things ever be the same again? 

Pop quiz, hotshot...from whence does Europe hail?! 

A) The Whitesnake River
B) Hasselhoffeidelberg
C) Poughkeepsie, NY
D) Europe, Europe
E) Wait, the song says they're heading for Venus!  So...Venus?


Holy schibe!! These philosopher kings hail from the same country that gave us:

That last picture is a shameless attempt to boost our readership stats.  It's also for our loyal KBA blog fans in Russia and North Korea (it's a cold cold winter Vladimir and Kim Seo-Hyun...stay strong comrades)

28 Days Later...