KBA 11/16

<hoping your Cambodian internet connection is too weak to play this video in its entirety>:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v75l7Nbj5pQ

"DJ Mbenga can't retort; simply because he's not on the court"

Well, well, well... welcome to yet another installment of the KBA report.

This week's biggest news was the pre-game incident involving Mike (the Asian Bill Laimbeer.. or ABL).  Even before the games began, Mike was officially blacklisted from KBA.  The Commish stated that DOOD and HCV had strictly joined (and paid) on the condition that ABL not be in the league.  Well, evidently, ABL had failed to respond to any emails from the Commish and, as a result, was justly told he cannot play.

After feeling bad for ABL, The Commish decided to let him play this week, but closed with a "you can't come back until next round of permits."

At any rate, folks, you didn't tune in to hear about gossip, like how Tony Parker is divorcing Eva Longoria on word that he cheated on her with fellow teammate Brent Berry's wife; you didn't tune in to hear about how Andrew Bynum nearly got arrested for going 110mph with his new Ferrari; and, you certainly didn't tune in to hear about how the 6 week knee injury to Ratliff might mean the Lakers will sign Eric Dampier.

You tuned in to hear about THE premiere basketball league in SoCal!

So, after about 30 mins of yapping it up, with much thanks to Laimbeer-gate (or Laim-Gate for short), the inevitable happened:  Ricky D and BSR were placed on the same team.

Without giving too many repetitive and boring details, after coasting to a win, Team BSR/Ricky D (or team BS)--which at one point had HCV, The Commish and Vujuacic going against DOOD, EKE, OD, ABL, and Shan--went on to lose 3 straight games.

What happened?  

Ricky D turned into an 8-year old:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bLyjcXQmF0

Although there were a full 18 minutes left, Ricky D walked off the court.  BSR had to literally stand in front of him to play one last game (mainly because if Dicky D left, it would have meant only 9 guys remained).

And so, the final game was a blowout thanks to Ricky D hitting some very bad shots.

This left BSR in with an unfavorable 2-3 record.  And, given his promise to have a winning record these 2 NVE-less weeks, BSR will have his work cut out for him.  How will he keep from getting on Ricky D's team?  How can he avoid getting both Vujacic AND The Commish on his team?  Will BSR leave if he wins the first 2 games next week?

Stay tuned...

And, remember:  it's probably not a good idea to have a teammate named "Love"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGFDF96hwTE

KBA 11/9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEJVCcJpiiE

Excitement reigned as the KBA moved into a brand new arena!  Situated next door to its antiquated predecessor, the new court possesses state-of-the-art features such as: adequate lighting, non-dusty floors, and a roof that doesn't leak.  The court also boasts an upgraded seating capacity of 83, which should accommodate the typical KBA crowds of 3-5.  New commissioner Fat Andy was non-committal when asked about the possibility of luxury suites; rumors abound that the KBA will be offering personal seat licenses in anticipation of upgrades.  Former KBA commissioners NVE and BSR were on hand for the ribbon-cutting ceremony.  BSR, with tears in his eyes, commented: "This has been a vision ten years in the making...this makes all those $60 dues every four months worth it all.  I think this is a sign that the KBA has hit the big time and is here to stay!"  In unrelated news, the LAUSD announced that the November 30 KBA game is being cancelled due to the 3rd Annual Convention for Left-Handed Star Trek Stamp Collectors.

In honor of the new arena, former KBA stars Dennis (the Other Over-Dribbler...so that makes him Dennis, the OOD...or just DOOD) and Howie (asian Charlie Villanueva...or HCV) made a surprise appearance after a two year hiatus.  While their surprise appearance had none of the buzz associated with famous returns of superstars (http://rushthecourt.net/mag/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/MJ-im-back.jpg) and other KBA stars (an old HoopsHype post which will need be revisited/reposted sometime soon), the infusion of new (old?) blood certainly raised the excitement level and increased the caliber of KBA games from horrific to somewhat mediocre.  The powerhouse squad of DOOD, HCV, BSR, Ricky D, and Matt rolled to two early victories on the strength of a combined 341 to 6 rebounding edge.  The formidable squad looked poised to sweep the night....yet their fortunes inexplicably turned against the upstart squad of EKE, NVE, Taliban, OD, and Anonymous Asian Guy.  The tightly-fought game swung back and forth and, fueled by the now-weekly circus spinning circus shots by the OD, was knotted at 6 all with the clock running down.  Which improbably, culminated with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaTrpTeByAs

Shortly thereafter, NVE gleefully proceeded to announce a two week hiatus to Canc...errr, Cambodia (http://articles.latimes.com/1998/jun/30/sports/sp-65031)

To my reader(s): here is a KBA quiz.  

What was the most surprising KBA number of the week?

13: number of KBA players who showed up

3: number of weeks that have passed since Ricky D received a technical foul

5200: number of calories immediately consumed by Fat Andy prior to stepping on the court

364: number of consecutive weeks NVE has worn the same shirt (okay, really 182 since two identical shirts are alternated)

Answer?

It's a four-way tie.  How do I know?  BECAUSE I AM SMARTER THAN YOU.